my heart is breaking

i leave in 5 sleeps and my heart is absolutely breaking. i know that going to london for the year is going to be a wonderful adventure, and everyone has been so supportive, but lately, there's been a little boy who's trying to be brave, and he's starting to crumble.

i know madison will be ok - she's in junior high and she gets that one year away isn't a long time. she also says that it's just that she won't be able to physically see or hug me. but she's ok, as far as i know.

jonah kind of snuck up on me. at first he was all cool about it, but now that he knows we're down to the fine wire, he gets immensely sad when i say goodnight. he gives me those sad eyes, and then he breaks down when i walk out of the door, and i'm trying to be brave cuz i'm the adult here. but when he can't see me, my heart cracks and out come the tears.

to a six year old, a year is a life time.

i think the only thing i can do is weather the storm and try not to cry in front of him. kind of like a quick tear of the bandaid of a big sore. it'll hurt real bad at first, but it won't be so bad once it happens. i can cry myself to sleep on the flight over.

god. i'm such a baby. i pray for strength.