Pretty Tough 36 Hours (Nov 8 - 9)

The past 36 hours have been a complete roller coaster. Bursts of excitement, signs I'm doing the right thing, and tears full of chest ripping pain.

Leaving work was harder than I thought it would be. When it came down to it, I ended up tearing on Karen's shoulder, and I made Jodie cry. She has a warm heart afterall! I left work early to spend time with Isabell, Madison and Jonah, and I tried really hard not to cry, but failed miserably. Tucking Jonah into bed made me cry and thankfully his nighlight was the only light on or else he'd see that I was a complete puddle on teh floor. Madison was my rock as usual.

I thought Saturday would be the day I could pull it all together, but again, I was a mixed bag of emotions. The most emotional I've been since my dad died, I think. I had to say goodbye to Chris and Martin, and I was doing well, just tearing up a bit when I started saying goodbye to Madison and Jonah until...Madison souldn't let go and she cried hard into my arms. Jonah held on until he got into his dad's van, but I saw him. I was devastated, wondering why on earth I was leaving all that love so willingly behind.

Things started looking up at the airport though. I saw Hari K from work, who happened to be on the same flight on his way to India for a wedding. It was nice to see a friendly face. Then I saw another - Suzi from Breast Fest (a women's networking group I beloned to years ago). After a quick catch up, the coolest thing happened. She now works for the airline I happened to be flying on, and she bumped me up to First Class (nice), AND she comes to London on occassion so we'll connect when she does. It was quite nice to fly here...my own pod that folds down to a bed, Wall-E on tv, a great meal with cutlery and glass, Tomassi Ripasso wine, and I slept 5 hours, waking 45 mins before landing and in time for breakfast.

The cab driver I had onteh way in was a nice guy - a Glasgow fan. He was very informative about all things London. Did you know it takes five years of training to become a cab driver in London? I found my apartment, not as great as I thought since its a basement suite, but will ask for an upgrade tomorrow. Too tired today.

I went to Queensway, that has an M&S, Boots adn Costa Coffee close by. I went and got groceries, came back and (you guessed it), looked around my tiny cold apartment and cried.

So, I went back out, grabbed a phone card from a souvenir shop and called home. I needed to hear friendly voices and know they are all ok (and they are). I talked to Jonah and Madison, apparently all completely recovered, then called Gina in Aberdeen and made me sane again.

When I cambe back, my apartment was better - but still cold. I fired up the heater, puton my Uggs and Van hoodie, and caught up on X factor, some of the chelsea game, ate some mac and cheese (thanks patty), and started to feel better.

Lord help me tomorrow. My goal is to get a tube pass, a national rail pass, jaunt down to Epsom to open a bank account, get my NI number...just to name a few things. The lonliness is killing me, so I can't wait to get to work on Tuesday.

Sigh - what a start. It really can only get better!

PS - my streets are lined with maple trees and maple leafs litter the ground. Is that a good sign????

NOTE - before you go posting comments that pity me...my days get better. I promise